So I met this girl today...

So...I met this girl today. You've heard that line before so you know where this story is going...kind of. I knew I was going to meet her. We had been planning this meeting for about two years now. We flew thousands of miles to get to the meeting place.

This morning as we left our hotel to head for the meeting place, I was actually pretty calm. I was confident this was going to be a great day. I knew it would be great to meet this girl. She knew we were coming, although I am certain she didn't really know what that meant.

I mean, let's face it. She's never met a guy like me. I'm not talking about my personality, my size, my goatee or my my sense of style (or lack thereof): I'm talking about the fact that I'm a dad- or as she says it, "Baba." This thought just tears me up to even think about it: she has never met Baba.

Until today. Oh, this girl. I'm telling you. From the moment I laid eyes on her, I knew I was in big trouble. There are only 3 people I have ever felt this way about: my sons- Luke, Noah and Adam. I have often described the love you feel when your children are born as an "explosion of love." It is a love that can't be manufactured. It is not a love you learn. It is a gift from God. And that same gift was given to me today yet again.

From the moment I first heard her call me "Baba," I was hooked completely. I mean "all-in." I'm talking "I'd sell the Toyota Sienna mini-van and buy her a Mercedes if she asked me to" kind of all-in. I was hooked on her, but she definitely wasn't hooked on me. She only said "Baba" because the worker at the orphanage told her to repeat the word after her. She was, however, hooked on "Mama."

We returned to our hotel and spent the afternoon with Elliana. She wouldn't have much to do with me. When I would try to hold her, she only wanted Mama. When I would try to help her, she turned away. We knew this was normal for a kid who has lived her entire life at an orphanage primarily under the care of female workers. However, it was still hard to love someone that much only to not be trusted in return.

For about an hour this afternoon Leslie and I had Elli all to ourselves. Uncle Wes (who made the trip with us and has been such a help) took the boys swimming and it got really quiet in the hotel room. All was going well. Elli was coloring and seemed to be kind of settling in for the day. We did notice that Elli wouldn't allow us to change her clothes- but especially her shoes. Perhaps these shoes are a reminder of "home." Perhaps these shoes were a gift from a caretaker that meant a lot to her. We don't know, but the shoes had to stay on as she colored her pictures, played with dolls and watched Frozen. Her shoes gave her a sense of security- so they stayed on.

At some point, the enormity of the day hit her. The only "family" Elli has ever known was gone and we were left standing in their place. She began to cry- that heartbreaking "daddy hold me" kind of cry I had heard from my boys so many times. But she didn't want Baba. It was tough to be in the same room with someone you love so much only to know she couldn't yet receive your love.

She did want Mama. Leslie rocked her. She held her. She tried to reassure her and comfort her, but it wasn't enough. Then, in this God-filled moment I will NEVER forget, she got down from Leslie's arms, crawled across the bed toward me, let out another cry and reached up and put her arm around my neck. I immediately wrapped mine around her and held her close. The tears flowed as I held her. I was becoming Baba to her and the feeling was unbelievable.

We have along way to go. Tonight, as Elli was getting ready for bed she finally allowed us to change her clothes. We put her in some princess pajamas with pink socks...but she had to have her shoes on. So Baba helped her put on her shoes and climb into bed with Mama. Leslie read books to her, gently rocked her to sleep and sang to her as she has done with every one of our children.

Daddy's girl went down without much of a fight. As everyone in the family lay fast asleep I knelt beside her bed to pray over her. I just knelt and cried for her. I know today was tough for her. I know it doesn't all make sense to her. But I want her to one day know there is a Father in heaven who loves her because this Baba loves her so well. So I leaned over, gently kissed her forehead, took off her shoes and prayed.

Sleep well my child. Baba loves you.

So yeah...I met this girl today.

Guest writer - Wes

Robby didn't ask me to post, but Deborah gave me his credentials.  Thanks for sharing all Robby's info, next I'll get his bank account info. I have been known to be an ESL person, so forgive me for my lack of writing skills. 

Down here in China, Robby and I are huge.  I mean muscular. I feel like a giant. This is a pic of us at the train station. Once they opened the gates to get on, it sounded like the bull at the rodeo hitting the gate. It was a mess. 

Everybody's on their phone, anti-social.  

We had an awesome buffet at the hotel, but Luke and Noah spotted these places. So I had to take them there.  Thanks for the nasty chicken McDonalds.  The cheese pizza wasn't so bad.  I'll let you know tonight. 

I'll close for now, but wanted share a pic of the room where had to wait for Ellie to come in. Leslie's stomach hurt because she was nervous and had some McDonald's issues. I'll let Robby post the family meeting pics.  

Ellie might be racist because they told her I was the uncle (shu shu).  And she nodded no.  😔. It's ok, I'll buy her something tomorrow to get on her good side. 

Quick Update

We arrived in China after a long day of travel. After about 24 hours without sleep we met with Jane, our adoption facilitator to fill out some paperwork before our initial meeting with Elliana. She had the opportunity to meet Elliana a couple of days ago. She described her as "sweet, very outgoing and has quite a personality." Sounds like our boys are going to have a run for their money. She also told us that Elli plays with everyone and is very kind. Man, when I heard that, my heart melted for her even more and I teared up.

We are scheduled to meet Elliana for the first time in 5 hours (9:00 p.m. Sunday evening, CST). At that point Elli will become a part of our family. It's hard to believe it's so close. 2 years of praying, planning, paperwork and waiting is finally coming to an end and she will have her "forever family."

So we need everyone to pray today for some specific things:

1. Elli- She is only 3 years old and has been in the care of the orphanage for her entire life. Today is going to be difficult for her to understand. We are praying God will heal her heart and bring her great joy as she joins our family today.

2. The boys- They are really excited to have a baby sister- to the point of uncontrolled "under normal circumstances you would be disciplined" kind of energy (Adam was awake at 3:30 a.m.). They have been told to "calm down" about 349 times this morning. It could be a combination of sleep deprivation and excitement. Nonetheless, they need Divine intervention.

3. Smooth transitions- For Elli, for the boys, for mom and dad. The next few days will be challenging as we all transition to the new family God has put together. Just pray for everything to be ordained and orchestrated by God today.

We love you all. Pics of the family are coming later today!

Overwhelmed...again

Fifteen years ago I said "I do" to the most beautiful woman in the world. My most vivid memory from my wedding day was when the doors of the auditorium were opened and I saw Leslie standing there, about to walk forward and marry me. She chose me. I was overwhelmed...and I still am.

Ten years ago, on February 21, 2005, Leslie and I were in the living room of our first home. Leslie was scheduled to be induced the next morning to give birth to our first son. I remember sitting in my living room thinking of all that was about to change in our lives and feeling overwhelmed. The next day God graced us with a beautiful, healthy baby boy. That same process was repeated in 2008 and again in 2011. Holding all of my boys for the first time left me overwhelmed...and I still am.

Tomorrow morning, Sept. 12, 2015, my family will leave Houston, TX headed for China where a little girl is waiting for us. Tonight, I feel exactly the same way I felt the night before each of my biological children were born. I am...overwhelmed.

I thank God for my wife. She is the love of my life and a beautiful mother to my 3 boys. I thank God for my 3 boys- Luke, Noah and Adam. And I thank God that he chose Elliana to be a part of our family as well. I am overwhelmed by the goodness and the grace of God in our lives.

I already know when I see Elli in person for the first time my heart is going to explode. I love her so much my heart hurts. I am overwhelmed...again.

As we get ready for bed tonight I look back on our two year adoption journey. I look back at what God has done and it is nothing short of a miracle that we are leaving tomorrow. So many people have prayed for us. So many have given financially to make this adoption possible. This girl is already loved by so many.

To all of our friends and family: Thank you for loving our girl. Thank you for joining us on this journey. We can't wait for you to meet Elli. We pray her life will be overwhelmed by the goodness and mercy of God.

A Girl Looking for Her Daddy

"A father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.
God settles the solitary in a home..." Psalm 68:5-6

There is a girl somewhere yearning for a dad, and I feel called to be that to her. The truth is she has a dad, she just hasn't met him yet. I am trying to get to her, but she doesn't know it yet. Every day I think about her. Every night I pray for her to come home soon. My heart yearns to bring her home.

There's a family waiting for her- a family to love her, provide for her, hug her, have tea parties with her, dance in the living room with her and provide a home for her...so she doesn't have to feel alone anymore. Leslie and I recently attended a conference for adoptive parents. I don't remember everything that was said that weekend, but one part gripped my heart. The speaker shared the testimony of an adoptive family that was amazed at how quiet the orphanages were. You would think a house filled with kids would be filled with crying, but they're not. The reason: babies in orphanages learn at a young age that crying doesn't do any good- no one is coming to pick you up.

My heart sank. No kid should feel alone. No kids should feel like no one is coming. No kid should have to live without a family. So we're adopting. We are privileged that God has called us to do this.

When David penned the 68th Psalm he didn't know the Pollards and he didn't know our daughter in Moldova, but he did know the heart of God. God is a father to the fatherless. He defends those who can't defend themselves. He gives a home to the lonely.

As much as my heart yearns for my daughter, the heart of God yearned for her even more. Although I will have to sacrifice some things to be her dad, God sacrificed everything for her. He loved her all the way to the cross.

I feel honored, blessed and completely unworthy to be her dad. But I know by God's grace I can be what He has called me to be. Will you pray for our family as we continue this journey? So many have given so much to help us get her home. We are humbled by the grace and generosity of so many.

Will you consider helping us financially in our adoption journey? Simply click this link: https://www.lifesongfororphans.org/give/donate/one-time/?giftchoice=Adoption%20Funding&adoptionfunding=Family%20Specific
Our family account number is 4045. The family name is Pollard.

Thank you for loving our daughter with us!

The Pollards Are Having a Girl!

Some of you know we have felt called by God to adopt a daughter from the country of Moldova, so every night our family prays for a girl we have never met. We don't know what she looks like, we don't know anything about her background, but we know she is supposed to be with us. Every night our boys pray, "God, take care of our baby sister and help her come home soon." My heart melts every time.

 

We recently heard a father share his adoption story. His daughter (whom they adopted from China) was talking to her new dad one night about how soft her new bed was compared the hard ones she had to sleep on in China. She then asked her dad, "What took you so long?" When I heard that father share this story, my heart went immediately to Moldova. Even as I sit and type these words, tears well up. It's hard when you know your daughter is somewhere in a Moldovan orphanage thinking, "I wonder when someone is going to come. What is taking them so long?"

 

We want her prayers to be answered. We want her to come home soon. There are over 147 million orphans worldwide and it is estimated that less than 10 percent of these children are adopted into evangelical Christian families. We’ve felt so clearly directed by God to adopt and we want to obey Him. We also desire to give an orphan child a family that she probably wouldn’t otherwise have. God desires for orphans of all nations to be loved, cared for, and adopted into Christian families—ultimately so they can become saved and adopted into His eternal family through Jesus Christ.

 

The biggest challenge is not opening our hearts and home to another child, but it is finding the finances to make this happen. The estimated total cost for the adoption is $30,000. That’s certainly money we don’t have, but we know God is faithful and is leading us to trust Him. By God’s grace we’ve been able to pay the initial $2,700.

Honestly it’s a little difficult (because of our pride) to make our needs known to our friends and family, but we would like you to consider helping us in one or two ways with our adoption:

 

1. Please pray that God would tenderly care for our daughter in Moldova until we are able to bring her home. Pray that God would prepare me, Leslie, Luke, Noah and Adam for the upcoming changes to our family and God will give us wisdom, discernment and insight as we raise our daughter to know and follow Jesus.

 

2. Will you please consider giving a financial gift to help cover a portion of the remaining adoption expenses to bring our daughter home?

 

We have set up an account with Lifesong for Orphans to help with funding our adoption. Lifesong has been blessed with a partner that underwrites all U.S. administrative and fund-raising costs. That means 100% of your donation will go directly to funding the adoption. Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization so all gifts are tax deductible.

 

There are two ways to give:

1. Online (easiest, fastest way to give). Go to http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/give/donate/. Select "Give to an Adoptive Family." Complete the online form and fill in the "Family Account Number" and "Family Name" fields. Our account number is 4045. The Family Name is Pollard.

 

2. By mail. Please make checks payable to "Lifesong for Orphans." In the memo, note "#4045 Pollard" to assure it goes to the correct account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744.

 

God has called us to His rescue mission of caring for orphans (James 1:27). We are humbled by His call and we are trusting Him to provide all we need for the journey. We may not be able to save all of the children in Moldova, but by God's grace we are going to find our daughter and bring her home.

 

Thank you for loving orphans with us. We are eager for our daughter to come home. We can't wait to meet her and shower her with love...and we hope you get to meet her soon as well.

 

Following His Heart,

Robby, Leslie, Luke, Noah and Adam

 

 

Not This Time, Not Right Now

As a child I remember hearing my mom tell me, "Not this time" or, "Not right now" more times than I wanted to hear. It's not her fault and she was right to say it to me. These phrases usually followed a selfish request at the check-out line at Safeway, the local grocery store. "Mom, can I have gum? Mom, can I have a Heath bar? Mom, can I have Fruit Stripes gum? Mom, can I get a drink?" Don't get me wrong, sometimes mom would get something for me. Unfortuantely I wasn't as grateful in those moments as I was frustrated in the moments when she said, "Not this time."

As a parent of three request-laden sons, I understand why she told me "not right now." Sometimes I say "not right now" for health reasons (i.e. I don't want to have to take you to the Dentist 5 times a year for cavities from all the candy). Sometimes I say "not this time" because we can't afford it. Sometimes I say "not right now" because I want them to learn the value of earning what they get.

As many times as I heard, "Not right now" in my life, I never remember hearing my mom say it when I really needed her. If I was hurt my mom never said to me, "Not right now." If I had a rough day at school and needed a hug she never said, "Not this time." When my grandmother passed away and I cried she didn't push me away and say, "Not right now." My mom loved me- and I knew it because she was always there for me when I really needed her.

In John 11 the Bible tells the story of a family who really needed Jesus. Lazarus, the brother of Mary and Martha, was deathly ill. This was not just any family to Jesus: "Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus" (John 11:5). Because they knew Jesus could heal Lazarus they sent word asking Him to come.

This was not a request for a Heath bar: this was a request for healing. It was a deep and profound request- if Jesus comes, Lazarus lives. If He doesn't, Lazarus won't make it. So how did Jesus respond? "When he had heard therefore that he was sick, he abode two days still in the same place where he was" (John 11:6). He said, "Not this time. Not right now."

That's a tough answer to swallow, and what they feared would happen without Jesus did happen. Lazarus died. And to make matters worse, Jesus could have done something about it, but He didn't. Without a doubt the questions started circulating, "Why? Why didn't Jesus come? Doesn't he care? Is there something wrong with me? He got the word, didn't he? Where was Jesus when I needed Him the most?"

That's what Martha and Mary said to Jesus when he finally came- four days late, as it turned out. "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died" (John 11:21, 32). "Lord, where were you when I needed you the most?"

I have heard people say, "God is rarely early, but He is never late." Not for Mary and Martha. It was too late. Lazarus was dead. Jesus himself said it to His disciples- "Lazarus is dead" (John 11:14). Dead is dead, or so we thought.

To Martha's respectful complaint Jesus spoke words of hope- "Your brother will rise again" (John 11:23). Martha reasoned, "Oh yes, Lord. I know. I've been to funerals before. I know that we will see our loved ones again one day. But what about right now? Why didn't you come when I needed you?"

He had a reason- in fact, 3 reasons for coming four days too late:

1. Jesus knew this death was going to put the glory of God on display- When he received the first message about Lazarus' sickness Jesus replied, "This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby" (John 11:4).
2. Jesus knew this death was going to deepen the faith of His disciples- "Lazarus is dead. And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, to the intent that you may believe" (John 11:14-15)
3. Jesus knew this death was going to bring life. Jesus came to Lazarus' grave and said, "Take ye away the stone. And when he had thus spoken, he cried with a loud voice, 'Lazarus come forth.' And he that was dead came forth...Then many of the Jews which came to Mary, and had seen the things which Jesus did, believed on him" (John 11:39, 43-45)

Lazarus wasn't the only one raised from the dead that day. The faith of the disciples rose to new heights as they watched a dead man raised to life, the glory of God rose out the ashes of death, and unbelievers were raised from death to life when they believed, with full assurance, that Jesus was "the resurrection and the life." (John 11:25).

Sometimes God allows a death to bring glory to Himself. Sometimes God allows a death to deepen your faith. Sometimes God allows a death to bring life. Remember that truth the next time you pray and God answers, "Not this time. Not right now." Just because Jesus doesn't come doesn't mean He doesn't care. Where is God when you need Him the most? Where is God when you need a breakthrough that doesn't seem to come? Where is God when your circumstances are consuming you? He's right where you need Him to be, even if you think He should have been somewhere else.

"Not right now" and "not this time" doesn't mean never. It means that you will be amazed on the other side. You will see God's glory. You're going to grow. Others will be brought to life. Sorrow lasted for a night...or four. But joy came in the morning. It always does.